Navigating our subcultures
Connecting the social spaces that shape us
We live in a world of systems, from big ones like society to the small ones in our families. Within these systems are our subcultures - the groups and communities that make up our everyday lives. Think of it like boxes within boxes, where each smaller group has its own way of doing things, but all of them influence each other. These different layers affect how we live and how we see ourselves.
As we move through life, we're shaped by all these different groups we belong to. We might act one way at work, another with friends, and still differently with family or in our online communities. Sometimes, switching between these roles feels more natural, like changing from work mode to home life. Other times, it can feel a bit awkward when different parts of our lives bump up against each other.
When we look at how these different groups influence us, we start to see patterns in how people connect and form communities. This is especially important now, as technology and social media are changing how we relate to each other. These overlapping worlds we live in affect everything - from how we talk to how we understand the world around us.
Understanding subcultures as systems
To understand how subcultures work, think of them as living, breathing communities. Each has its own shared language, unwritten rules, and ways of doing things that mark members as "insiders." You can see this in action everywhere, from teachers who share specific ways of handling classroom challenges, to nurses who develop their own shorthand for communicating during busy shifts, to parents at your local PTA who know exactly how things get done at their school. Even office workers develop their own culture, complete with inside jokes about the temperamental coffee machine and unspoken rules about when it's okay to microwave fish in the break room. While we often think of subcultures in terms of dramatic examples like punk rockers or gaming communities, these everyday groups are just as valid, they're the threads that weave through our daily lives, creating distinct worlds within the larger society[i].
Think about the different groups you move through in a typical week. Each group functions as a distinct system while simultaneously being part of larger systems. The interactions between these levels create unique dynamics that influence both individual behavior and group patterns.
Perhaps you're part of a workplace team that takes pride in its unique approach to problems or a neighborhood running group with its own rituals and inside jokes. Maybe you belong to a faith community that shapes how you view the world or an online community of enthusiasts who share your passion for cooking, music, or technology. Whether we recognize it or not, each represents a subculture, influencing how you think, behave, and connect with others.
These communities form in various ways, each serving different needs that we may have. Faith-based communities create spaces where shared beliefs and values shape daily life, fostering both deep connections and distinct boundaries[ii]. Professional circles develop their own languages and ways of seeing the world that extend beyond just doing the job. And interest-based groups build strong bonds through shared passions and experiences, often developing their traditions and measures of status or expertise.
It’s important to note that subcultures don't always operate in opposition to mainstream society. Most of us belong to multiple subcultures simultaneously, adapting to each one as instinctively as adjusting our voice for different environments, such as speaking softly in a library, professionally in a meeting, or casually with friends. In each environment, we often bring different aspects of ourselves for connection. This multiplicity often enriches our lives but sometimes creates interesting tensions to navigate.
When millions of people are doing this daily dance between different subcultures, it creates ripple effects throughout society. As these nested systems evolve and interact, they create new patterns of connection and belonging. The shift in how we form and maintain relationships reflects broader changes in our social systems.
Finding connection in a fragmented world
Watching the documentary Join or Die (streaming on Netflix) this week made me think about the role of individual connections in developing stronger subcultures and societies. Based on Robert Putnam’s research and subsequent book Bowling Alone, the documentary argues that the landscape of connection has shifted dramatically in recent decades. While traditional community organizations have declined[iii], our fundamental need for belonging remains unchanged; we're simply finding new ways to fulfill it. Even faith communities, once bastions of formal membership, are seeing a rise in "participant-only" engagement, where people seek spiritual connection without institutional commitment[iv]. Today's social world is more fluid, with connections flourishing in digital spaces, informal gatherings, and temporary communities. These groups form around shared interests or causes, though they may not always provide the structure that supports the lasting bonds we seek.
This evolution reveals an interesting interplay between digital and physical forms of connection. Digital spaces offer unprecedented reach and accessibility, yet physical gatherings still provide the deeper personal connections and the social support we crave. Face-to-face interactions foster stronger emotional resonance and accountability than their digital counterparts, where anonymity can limit genuine vulnerability and growth[v]. There's something irreplaceable about physical presence, the shared experiences and direct interactions that build lasting social bonds and meaningful community engagement[vi].
This evolution in how we connect brings both challenges and opportunities. While structured community spaces may be fewer, we have more flexibility in finding or creating the connections that matter to us. However, the ease of online engagement shouldn't overshadow the unique value of in-person community participation. Local, face-to-face communities seem to provide essential forms of social support and belonging that digital connections often struggle to replicate[vii]. Whether through workplace relationships, neighborhood groups, faith, or interest-based gatherings, people find their most meaningful connections when they engage with others in shared physical spaces.
How subcultures shape who we are
These communities we choose, or those we find ourselves part of, play a crucial role in shaping who we become. We see this most clearly during adolescence when young people actively seek out groups that reflect their emerging sense of self. Whether through music scenes, sports teams, or online gaming communities, these spaces provide opportunities to experiment with identity and connect with others with similar interests and struggles.
This process of finding ourselves through our communities continues throughout life. As adults, we may discover that a workplace culture shapes not just how we approach our profession but how we view success, collaboration, and connection. Each of these spaces contributes to our ongoing self-development, influencing how we see ourselves and our place in the world.
Research shows that we often adopt thinking patterns and habits of our chosen groups without realizing it[viii]. This is a natural outcome of participating in interconnected social systems. These systems influence us through complex feedback loops, where our participation both shapes and is shaped by the group's dynamics. It can enrich our lives by exposing us to new perspectives and ways of being. However, it might also create blind spots in how we view the world and make decisions if we fail to deeply interrogate our new learnings, particularly since our various community’s shape:
The language we use and how we express ourselves
What we value and prioritize
How we make decisions
Our sense of what's normal or important
Who we feel most comfortable with, and why
Reflection, then, gives us a pathway to understanding these influences and helps us engage more consciously and, perhaps, authentically with our different communities. Reflection can also help us better appreciate how different social spaces affect our choices, values, and relationships. This self-awareness allows us to be more intentional about which aspects of these communities we embrace and which we might want to question or modify.
Reflections on the Journey
I’ve been reflecting on how my journey through various subcultures has shaped both my actions and my identity. As an academic who moves between scholarly circles, professional environments, family life, and community engagement, I've experienced firsthand how each subculture demands its own way of being. Each space operates with its distinct rhythm, language, and framework for understanding the world.
While I strive to maintain my authentic self across these spaces, I've understood that authenticity isn't about being identical in every context. Rather, it's about staying true to my core values while acknowledging that different communities require different expressions of those values. Sometimes, these adaptations create internal tension, for example, when professional norms call for formality while my natural inclination leans toward casual warmth or when academic precision needs to be balanced with accessible communication in community settings.
This dance between authenticity and adaptation has taught me that being genuine doesn't mean being uniform. Instead, it means thoughtfully expressing different facets of myself while maintaining integrity across all spaces. The challenge isn't in avoiding these adaptations but in ensuring they enrich rather than diminish my authentic self.
I've come to appreciate how various communities in my life serve different purposes. Some provide intellectual stimulation, others emotional support, and still others practical guidance. The key isn't to find one perfect community but to understand what each one offers and, conversely, what it might limit.
Moving between different systems has taught me that their intersections often create the best opportunity for growth. Each community illuminates the others in unexpected ways, creating possibilities and insights that wouldn't emerge from any single system alone.
The questions I’ve been asking myself are:
Which communities expand your understanding of what's possible?
Where do you find support for growth and experimentation?
How might different communities complement each other?
What aspects of yourself find expression in different spaces?
The communities we belong to shape us, but they don't define us. We can choose how to engage with them, what to take, what to leave, and when to seek new connections that better align with who we're becoming. In this ongoing dance between belonging and becoming, we may find new perspectives that neither complete independence nor total conformity could provide.
Peace,
David
[i] J. Patrick Williams, Subcultural Theory: Traditions and Concepts (Malden, MA: Polity Press, 2011)
[ii] Robert D. Putnam and David E. Campbell, American Grace: How Religion Divides and Unites Us (New York, NY: Simon & Schuster, 2012).
[iii] Robert D. Putnam, Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community, First Edition (London: Touchstone Books by Simon & Schuster, 2001).
[iv] Josh Packard and Ashleigh Hope, Church Refugees: Sociologists Reveal Why People Are DONE with Church but Not Their Faith (Littleton, CO: Group Publishing, 2015)
[v] Sherry Turkle, Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology and Less from Each Other, 3rd edition (New York: Basic Books, 2017).
[vi] Turkle.
[vii] Keith N. Hampton and Barry Wellman, “Lost and Saved . . . Again: The Moral Panic about the Loss of Community Takes Hold of Social Media,” Contemporary Sociology 47, no. 6 (November 1, 2018): 643–51, https://doi.org/10.1177/0094306118805415.
[viii] Daniel Kahneman, Thinking, Fast and Slow, First Edition (New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux, 2013).